...I like rap music. I was raised in a neighborhood where there were drive-bys (is that hyphenated?) and I haven't owned a bike since I was 6 because they always got stolen in my neighborhood. Believe it or not, I was the minority in my high school. No one expects anyone from my high school to have done anything with their lives but I'm college educated, can form a complete sentence and I don't have a parole officer. I'd say I'm a Polar Bear success story.
You see the sterotypes all the time... the asian that is a terrible driver but fantastic at figuring out electronics. The white person who can't dance (actually, I live up to that one) but who is naively friendly to everyone? The black person that is cousins with every other black person you meet and can cook crazy good fried chicken? Yeah yeah, don't be offended, friends... we've been there. I mean, stereotypes exist for a reason... there are people that live up to them!
Then you meet the people who proudly live up to everything negative their stereotype says about them... the bigotted white guy who lives in a trailer, the black guy who's got a grill and a few illegitimate children with a few different baby mamas, the hispanic person that doesn't speak a word of English except to hit on you... we've been there too!
After meeting that second type of person, I know I feel bad for thinking the worst of them. But then they live up to it and I leave the situation shaking my head wondering WHY they are like that?! Why do people live up to stereotypes? These are the same people that complain about the stereotype itself! I love meeting people that aren't living up to their stereotype. They are typically people that have a lot of self respect and want to better themselves. They can recognize the negative stereotype and distinguish why it's negative. There are others who don't even realize what the stereotype is and why something they do gives people a negative outlook of them.
What's your stereotype? I wear my fair share of scarves (http://www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/) and want to raise my kids to be bilingual like thousands of other white people, but there are things about me that are atypical, and I like that. (Brace yourself for a hoaky motivational speaker-esque comment:) Today, try not living up to your stereotype and highlight the unique quality that makes you, you!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
An experiment worth pondering...
Friends, pay attention to this post because I'm going to want some feedback on this one! I'm at sort of a crossroads right now, which is what I'm told 'your 20s are all about.' Well, that may be so, but the same people that say that are the same people that ask me 'what I'm waiting for' to get married and asking me why there's no man in my life. Just the other day, an older family member and I were chatting and he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that ALL my siblings are married and I'm not. I'm sure I should take it as a compliment that they can't believe I'm not snatched up already, but I don't. At this point, it's just condescending and kind of rude. Isn't there more to life?
From my observation, there are 4 types of girls my age when it comes to dating:
1. The kind that try tirlessly and put themselves out there endlessly. They date different types of guys just to see what types are compatible with them. There is always the promise of happiness in the back of their heads (DAMN you, Disney!), however with every break up, that fades a little bit. Might I add that's a classic set up for cat lady spinsters everywhere.
2. The kind that settle early, meeting a guy and sticking with him no matter what, even though they don't really seem to be crazy about him. Did you know 30% of women walk down the aisle knowing that they aren't walking towards the right guy? THIRTY percent! These women want to make things work because they'd rather be settled than single. But are they really HAPPY? A lot of them put on a great show if they aren't. I truly hope they are, but I've already had a handful of friends get divorved.
3. The kind that find the love of their life and settle down. These couples are typically the most smug and act like they can't even a remember their single days, like it was a horrible memory they have to block out.
4. The kind that are normal and seamlessly settle down with a guy they are truly happy with. There aren't many of these, but I know a few.
I'll give you one guess as to which one I am.
My point is, and I'm even proving it right now, that SO many people obsess about relationships! Being single, while fun, is a constant question mark and sometimes very tiring. After my most recent relationship ended, I was talking to one of my best friends about how much I missed this guy. I KNOW that this guy isn't right for me. He isn't my "cake." Yet, I still obsess over why I can't make it work with him. My friend suggested that I take a year off from men. Cold turkey, just give 'em up and work on myself. This would be a great opportunity to work on myself and my goals, including my 30 x 30 list.
Before I go any further, let me explain my comment above about my "cake." A very wise friend of mine who listens to my love laments all the time (bless you, for that, by the way) asked me once if I would eat a cake that hadn't been fully cooked. Food analogies are awesome. Of course, I said I wouldn't. Then he said that I need to trust God to be the baker and know that He's baking me an awesome cake that isn't quite done yet. I think of that often.
Ok, back to my story. So-- I laid in bed last night weighing the pros and cons of this idea of not dating for a year. The terms would include no dating and nothing physical. Just focusing on myself and my goals. Is it ridiculous for me to "find myself" like a lot of spoiled college kids that take a year off backpacking around Europe to do the same? Am I throwing away a year of prime dating time? I fell asleep last night thinking about it and it's the first thing on my mind this morning. I'm hoping to glean a little advice out of you guys, so please help! Thoughts, comments, questions, SHOOT!
Happy Friday and long weekend!
From my observation, there are 4 types of girls my age when it comes to dating:
1. The kind that try tirlessly and put themselves out there endlessly. They date different types of guys just to see what types are compatible with them. There is always the promise of happiness in the back of their heads (DAMN you, Disney!), however with every break up, that fades a little bit. Might I add that's a classic set up for cat lady spinsters everywhere.
2. The kind that settle early, meeting a guy and sticking with him no matter what, even though they don't really seem to be crazy about him. Did you know 30% of women walk down the aisle knowing that they aren't walking towards the right guy? THIRTY percent! These women want to make things work because they'd rather be settled than single. But are they really HAPPY? A lot of them put on a great show if they aren't. I truly hope they are, but I've already had a handful of friends get divorved.
3. The kind that find the love of their life and settle down. These couples are typically the most smug and act like they can't even a remember their single days, like it was a horrible memory they have to block out.
4. The kind that are normal and seamlessly settle down with a guy they are truly happy with. There aren't many of these, but I know a few.
I'll give you one guess as to which one I am.
My point is, and I'm even proving it right now, that SO many people obsess about relationships! Being single, while fun, is a constant question mark and sometimes very tiring. After my most recent relationship ended, I was talking to one of my best friends about how much I missed this guy. I KNOW that this guy isn't right for me. He isn't my "cake." Yet, I still obsess over why I can't make it work with him. My friend suggested that I take a year off from men. Cold turkey, just give 'em up and work on myself. This would be a great opportunity to work on myself and my goals, including my 30 x 30 list.
Before I go any further, let me explain my comment above about my "cake." A very wise friend of mine who listens to my love laments all the time (bless you, for that, by the way) asked me once if I would eat a cake that hadn't been fully cooked. Food analogies are awesome. Of course, I said I wouldn't. Then he said that I need to trust God to be the baker and know that He's baking me an awesome cake that isn't quite done yet. I think of that often.
Ok, back to my story. So-- I laid in bed last night weighing the pros and cons of this idea of not dating for a year. The terms would include no dating and nothing physical. Just focusing on myself and my goals. Is it ridiculous for me to "find myself" like a lot of spoiled college kids that take a year off backpacking around Europe to do the same? Am I throwing away a year of prime dating time? I fell asleep last night thinking about it and it's the first thing on my mind this morning. I'm hoping to glean a little advice out of you guys, so please help! Thoughts, comments, questions, SHOOT!
Happy Friday and long weekend!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
A little self-affirmation never hurts
Well folks, in my last entry, I spoke about a 'guy in my life.' That guy is no longer in my life and some other things haven't been going as planned. I haven't posted an entry lately because I don't want to just bitch about men and being single and how decision-making is so difficult. That's not what this blog is about. Talking to a great friend today, it was suggested that I do a little self-affirmation and write about things I DO like about myself. It's a simple trick, but it's easy to get down on yourself when things aren't going your way and this is a great way to combat it. Please understand, this isn't an opporunity to brag on how perfectly wonderful I am; it's simply reminding myself of some of the great things about me. I'm writing it and posting it as a reminder to do the same thing for yourselves every so often. So-- here goes:
1. Let's get the physical stuff out of the way first-- my hair and my smile. My hair is long and thick and I can do a ton of stuff with it. It's lightens in the summer and I love that. My smile is hard-earned after a longer-than-normal awkward phase of braces and other corrective metal, but it looks great now.
2. My taste in music. My sister borrowed my iPod once and put it on shuffle. She told me that my iPod is 'just a bunch of random awesome-ness.' I have older parents so their musical tastes rubbed off on me with greats like Buddy Holly, The Beatles, The Temptations, etc.. I got into John Mayer, Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson in college--plus a little country because I went to school in small-town Missouri. I lived in the mountains for a year and bluegrass is a big part of my shuffle now, which I never thought I'd like. I also have those guilty pleasures from middle school and high school that include NSYNC, Hanson, and the occasional gangsta rap song. Yeah. I said it. And I can't believe my mother let me listen to some of that stuff!
3. My need to be a better person. There are people that are totally fine with their lives the way they are. Then there are people like me who always want to do something different. My 30 x 30 list is a perfect example of goals I have for myself. Not everyone has that. This is not to say that I'm mapping out my life; I just want to be a well-rounded person with healthy interests. Something outside of bar-hopping and meeting guys.
4. Cooking. I will readily admit that I'm not the best cook in the world. But, I like to do it and when I do, the dishes don't come out half bad. Occasionally, I'll even get a compliment or two out of someone. My friend Katee loves my scrambled eggs and my rice krispie chicken. My friend Andrea loves how I make popcorn. My mom loves my honey mustard chicken. They are all simple things, but I like to make them and they make other people happy.
5. Creativity. In high school and college I really got into scrapbooking. Say all the old lady jokes you want, but it was calming, thereaputic, almost. I also enjoy creative projects at work and looking at things from a different angle. It's fun and I love doing it. Photography is a love of mine too, although all I have is a digitial camera. It's fun to snap pictures of my nieces and nephews or of completely inanimate things. I love to see the finished product.
6. Good Friend. I have been very blessed to have groups of friends from different areas of my life. I left high school with 6 good girlfriends. In college, as I've mentioned before, I left with 4 new sisters. Since college I have met friends that have had a major impact on my life. I try to make sure these people know that I appreciate them and how they affect my life. I'm a big card sender... usually a birthday/Christmas girl, but sometimes a card 'just because' is a great surprise amongst the bills in the mail.
7. My need to serve and give back to the community. Just since I moved back to the city, I've started volunteering, joined a gym and became a board member on my city's chapter of my college alumni organization. I also am trying to plan a fund raising event for a vocal group in town and and joining Young Variety-- a group of 20s and 30s that volunteer around the city to help children's organizations. I believe that if you are completely happy with yourself, then at least you can make someone else happier in the process. If you aren't happy, volunteering is a great way to get you happy. Either way, everybody wins. It's called civic duty, people!
9. Intelligent conversations. I will admit that I am not the most knowledgable person in the world on any subject, but I watch the news and keep up on the happenings in this crazy world! So, if someone were to ask me a question, I not only wouldn't be completely clueless, but I could offer some feedback. Bonus points for understanding politics and who's who in that world. I am from a very conservative background and my college friends are very liberal, so there's a balance. By that, I mean that I'm often outnumbered and shunned for voicing my opinion. However, I'm a political independent and I like to offer a little of the conservative side to liberals and vice versa to bring them back to center. What was that stereotype about the dumb blonde again?
10. Humor. 9 times out of 10, I can see the humor in just about anything. I'm one of those people that thinks of something amazingly witty after the fact so I'm not always quick with the snappy comebacks, but seeing the humor in things and taking them in stride is important. I wasn't always like this and everything was a big stressful problem, but I'm learning to take a step back and see it for what it is-- part of life! Usually they are hilarious.
Ok-- Those are 10 things and admittedly, I had to ask for some help on a few of those, but that just shows how important it is to look at yourself positively regularly. Amazingly, I feel much better than I did when I started writing this entry!
1. Let's get the physical stuff out of the way first-- my hair and my smile. My hair is long and thick and I can do a ton of stuff with it. It's lightens in the summer and I love that. My smile is hard-earned after a longer-than-normal awkward phase of braces and other corrective metal, but it looks great now.
2. My taste in music. My sister borrowed my iPod once and put it on shuffle. She told me that my iPod is 'just a bunch of random awesome-ness.' I have older parents so their musical tastes rubbed off on me with greats like Buddy Holly, The Beatles, The Temptations, etc.. I got into John Mayer, Dave Matthews and Jack Johnson in college--plus a little country because I went to school in small-town Missouri. I lived in the mountains for a year and bluegrass is a big part of my shuffle now, which I never thought I'd like. I also have those guilty pleasures from middle school and high school that include NSYNC, Hanson, and the occasional gangsta rap song. Yeah. I said it. And I can't believe my mother let me listen to some of that stuff!
3. My need to be a better person. There are people that are totally fine with their lives the way they are. Then there are people like me who always want to do something different. My 30 x 30 list is a perfect example of goals I have for myself. Not everyone has that. This is not to say that I'm mapping out my life; I just want to be a well-rounded person with healthy interests. Something outside of bar-hopping and meeting guys.
4. Cooking. I will readily admit that I'm not the best cook in the world. But, I like to do it and when I do, the dishes don't come out half bad. Occasionally, I'll even get a compliment or two out of someone. My friend Katee loves my scrambled eggs and my rice krispie chicken. My friend Andrea loves how I make popcorn. My mom loves my honey mustard chicken. They are all simple things, but I like to make them and they make other people happy.
5. Creativity. In high school and college I really got into scrapbooking. Say all the old lady jokes you want, but it was calming, thereaputic, almost. I also enjoy creative projects at work and looking at things from a different angle. It's fun and I love doing it. Photography is a love of mine too, although all I have is a digitial camera. It's fun to snap pictures of my nieces and nephews or of completely inanimate things. I love to see the finished product.
6. Good Friend. I have been very blessed to have groups of friends from different areas of my life. I left high school with 6 good girlfriends. In college, as I've mentioned before, I left with 4 new sisters. Since college I have met friends that have had a major impact on my life. I try to make sure these people know that I appreciate them and how they affect my life. I'm a big card sender... usually a birthday/Christmas girl, but sometimes a card 'just because' is a great surprise amongst the bills in the mail.
7. My need to serve and give back to the community. Just since I moved back to the city, I've started volunteering, joined a gym and became a board member on my city's chapter of my college alumni organization. I also am trying to plan a fund raising event for a vocal group in town and and joining Young Variety-- a group of 20s and 30s that volunteer around the city to help children's organizations. I believe that if you are completely happy with yourself, then at least you can make someone else happier in the process. If you aren't happy, volunteering is a great way to get you happy. Either way, everybody wins. It's called civic duty, people!
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| My family on vacation last summer! |
8. My relationship with my family. I have two brothers, two sisters, their spouses and a half brother. Collectively we live in 3 states. Normally a family this size is dysfunctional and non-communicative. At times we are dysfunctional, but no one can say we are non-communicative. At any time I know that I can call them and they can help with a problem or share in good news. It's a great support network. I also have 4 awesome nephews and 2 gorgeous nieces ranging in age from 7 years to 4 months. When I can, I go to all their school shows, baseball games, etc. We play pirates, dress-up, Twister and board games. I don't ever recall my aunt or uncles being around for that stuff and I'm happy I can do that for my kiddos.
9. Intelligent conversations. I will admit that I am not the most knowledgable person in the world on any subject, but I watch the news and keep up on the happenings in this crazy world! So, if someone were to ask me a question, I not only wouldn't be completely clueless, but I could offer some feedback. Bonus points for understanding politics and who's who in that world. I am from a very conservative background and my college friends are very liberal, so there's a balance. By that, I mean that I'm often outnumbered and shunned for voicing my opinion. However, I'm a political independent and I like to offer a little of the conservative side to liberals and vice versa to bring them back to center. What was that stereotype about the dumb blonde again?
10. Humor. 9 times out of 10, I can see the humor in just about anything. I'm one of those people that thinks of something amazingly witty after the fact so I'm not always quick with the snappy comebacks, but seeing the humor in things and taking them in stride is important. I wasn't always like this and everything was a big stressful problem, but I'm learning to take a step back and see it for what it is-- part of life! Usually they are hilarious.
Ok-- Those are 10 things and admittedly, I had to ask for some help on a few of those, but that just shows how important it is to look at yourself positively regularly. Amazingly, I feel much better than I did when I started writing this entry!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Disney ruins relationships!
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| Shawna and I putting our heads together for some brilliant ideas |
Disney ruins relationships. Yep, I said it. My friend Shawna and I were talking about the men in our lives tonight and appreciating the romantic things they do. Nothing big and grandiose, but appreciated nontheless. However, we've both had men in our lives (ok, ALL of us have) that are romance illiterate. Guys that don't get why doing sweet things for the woman in your life is important or even necessary. Guys, I wish I could say that it's just in our blood: we need it to survive. Unfortunately, that's not it. It's nurture, not nature, that brings us to where we are as women in the way that we crave romance.
I blame Disney. A few weeks ago, I was watching Tangled with my 5 year old niece, Sophia. At several times during the movie I looked over at Sophia. She was grinning from ear to ear with this dreamy look in her eye and at that moment, I knew she was ruined. She, like thousands of other girls before her, idealized and, well, romanticized romance. The prince riding in on a horse isn't real! Cinderella didn't REALLY live happily ever after, right? I mean, what did she do with the rest of her life?! Of course, it's a story and as an adult I can seperate that, but children can't and by the time they can, it's way too late. They have their whole future planned out and it inevitably includes a handsome prince rescuing her from what's sure to be a crummy life. Part of me wanted to tell her that, but what good would it have done to a five year old? What good does it do for a 25 year old? None.
Fast forward to being in your mid-twenties and trying to date. I'm realistic enough to know that the handsome prince rarely exists and life isn't all romance and flowers. But, is it too much to ask for a little lovin'? It's SO hard to find a man to do anything romantic that when one does something that's not overly cheesy, we act shocked!
So, I urge you...if a guy doesn't automatically sweep you off your feet by sending you flowers, writing you poems and telling you that you are gorgeous every second, don't completely write him off. Give guys a chance and they may come through. It gives a little truth to the song Someday My Prince Will Come...
Monday, May 16, 2011
College: friend or foe?
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| At my FAVORITE bar in my college town! |
I'm one of those people that loved high school. I was involved, got good grades, had a close group of friends and a great relationship with my teachers. College wasn't any different-- I was/did all of the aforementioned things, but also had a great time partying it up with my friends.
As a senior in high school, I remember telling one of my teachers which college I chose to attend. He looked startled and said, "Whoa, that's a party school." That was proven to me the very first weekend when I went to a house party with the girls on my floor. The party was nothing very memorable. We were just scared little 18 year olds with no clue of what college had in store for us.
Many people say that college was the best time of their lives. Don't get me wrong, I LOVED college and I often miss the laid back atmosphere and daily naps just as much as the next person. I miss falling out of bed 5 minutes before class and going to class in sweatpants. (Oddly I also miss group meetings in the library and at various places on campus to work on projects, but don't tell any of my professors that.) [college=friend]
What I don't miss is the crazy lifestyle I lived. Drinking all the time, eating like complete crap and making really terrible decisions. The better part of my sophomore, junior and ok, my senior years are a little hazy. [college=foe] I'm lucky that my irresponibility didn't make any big life decisions for me, but it DID help shape who I am today and the decisions I make today. I guess, in that way, you could say college was life-altering.
I know now that I don't want to be a girl that drinks all the time. I like to drink, but I've grown out of that drinking-to-get-drunk phase. I like a few good beers (not that cheap, watered-down domestic stuff, mind you) or a stiff drink every so often. Occasionally I go a little crazy, but It's not near what it was in college. I HATE shots and you won't see me doing beer bongs or keg stands anymore. That's when the habits from college rear their ugly heads.
You may be thinking, ok, Laura, that's normal, it's called growing up. Well, I thought so too, until I realized that most single folk my age drink like Germans at Oktoberfest. I was told recently that I should 'relax' and 'just have a good time! You're single.' One person actually said, "What else is there to do?" Listen, friends, I have a GREAT time and I don't have to get hammered to do it. Just because I'm single doesn't give me a ticket to frequent the bars a few times a week. Also, when these single 20-somethings DO settle down, they all say that they won't party as much, yada yada yada. How do you KNOW?! You'll settle down and your lifestyle will be completely disrupted by normalcy, something you're not used to or ready for, and then what?! Isn't the post-college time supposed to be about growing into who you want to be? Obvious answer: yes.
I read an article about a girl that decided to quit drinking because it was influencing poor decisions when her inhibitions were lowered. She is a single girl and the article was about how it completely altered her dating life...and not by her choice. Some guys were freaked out by it, saying they didn't trust a girl that doesn't drink and some would just never call her again. Interesting, since all these guys claim to be looking for someone to marry when clearly they only want a one-night thing.
Before you all start thinking that I'm some prententious ass on my high horse, please know that I don't care if you drink, because I do. Please know that I don't judge your decisons, because I make bad ones all the time. I just recognize that the party lifestyle isn't for me and I'm working towards a life built on other things.
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| Shawna, me, Jess, Erica and, on the bottom, Katee and Alexis. |
To answer the question asked in my headline: College is a friend! I learned a lot from my time there and I left with amazing memories and experiences. I made some of the best friends of my life while there, Shawna, Erica, Jess and Katee are my sisters from school and they are my go-to girls for so many things in life. I still talk regularly to my college advisor and I've made amazing connections through my former classmates. Now I'm trying to love this chapter of my life!!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Ellen Degeneres says this every day at the end of her show: Be Kind to one another. It's a simple declarative statement and it's amazing how elementary it sounds! But how can you turn something simple like that into your mantra? Easily enough-- just make it a habit.
When you are upset, and you let emotions get involved in your reaction, did you know that your IQ drops?! It DROPS! Think now about how many complete idiots are out there experiencing road rage. We have dummies just driving around because their emotions are getting involved. How many arguments could have had more pleasant outcomes? How many friends would you have? KINDNESS goes a very long way.
My point is this: You don't know what kind of effect you will have on someone. But giving them a compliment is a guaranteed positive effect! Additionally, don't you just FEEL better when you look at things positively? When you don't get upset about every tiny little thing and let that ruin your day? I have a challenge for you today! I challenge you to think before you react to a situation. Consider the negative way to look at it and then look at the positive parts. There's always a positive way to look at things, by the way. And I guarantee the situation will come out in your favor if you do that. It takes 3 weeks to begin a new habit. So-- start your habit
When you are upset, and you let emotions get involved in your reaction, did you know that your IQ drops?! It DROPS! Think now about how many complete idiots are out there experiencing road rage. We have dummies just driving around because their emotions are getting involved. How many arguments could have had more pleasant outcomes? How many friends would you have? KINDNESS goes a very long way.
Lately I've been thinking that my job is not for me. I haven't been motivated to get to work and actually DO work. I think everyone goes through periods of that, especially in the first few months of working there. It's easy to get bogged down when you are first learning a new job and have a truckload of new tasks on your plate. I got an email from a troop leader this morning that said, "Thanks for keeping up with this stuff. It's REALLY nice having someone be on top of things for us. We appreciate you. I think you are doing an excellent job." Isn't that SO nice? She probably didn't think anything of it, but let me tell you, it lifted my spirits and pushed me to do my job to the best of my ability today. It's only 11:30 and I've been so productive this morning!
My point is this: You don't know what kind of effect you will have on someone. But giving them a compliment is a guaranteed positive effect! Additionally, don't you just FEEL better when you look at things positively? When you don't get upset about every tiny little thing and let that ruin your day? I have a challenge for you today! I challenge you to think before you react to a situation. Consider the negative way to look at it and then look at the positive parts. There's always a positive way to look at things, by the way. And I guarantee the situation will come out in your favor if you do that. It takes 3 weeks to begin a new habit. So-- start your habit
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Maybe I'm overthinking this, but...
Men tend to group women together into two stereotypical groups: low maintenance and high maintence. Women know that there are WAY more subgroups to that, but let's first dissect what men are thinking. Low maintenance girls are girls that, in a man's opinion, are the girls that let the guys do whatever they want and don't compromise their bachelor-hood. "Sure, go out with your friends, sure do whatever you want!" High maintenance girls are girls that think. Yep. That's what it is in a man's eyes... or at least, from my experience. 
You see, I've been told before and just recently that I'm an 'over-thinker.' That I analyze things too much. I'm a big enough person to admit that that's not too far from the truth and I have been known to blow a thing or two out of proportion. If you are a woman reading this and you are thinking, "not me, I NEVER do that," then you are big fat liar and you know it.
Girls DO tend to think about things too much... what bills to pay first, what guys are thinking, what to wear in the morning, how to cut our hair, etc. etc. At any given time, any woman with half a brain has a zillion thoughts going on. In fact, I have a friend that will say things that seem very random. If you question her about it, she'll say, "Let's see, how DID I get to the topic of your ex? We were talking about shoes, which led me to think about this one pair of shoes I had that were awesome that I wore on a date with Joe. Joe turned out to be a jerk, just like your ex." Boom. Just like that! Trains of thought are much larger and complex for women and a lot of us can't even describe how we got from point A to point B.
I said above that I was recently accused of over-thinking. Last night, I was watching the movie The Black Swan with a guy. If any of you have seen it, there are a few WTF moments in there, moments where you have to (ok, I do) cover your eyes and there are questions you want to figure out, but you don't want to say anything DURING the movie because it's so good. Well, after the movie, I was talking about some possible symbolism in the movie, and the guy stretched, gave me a "good game" pat on the back and said, "Babe, you're over-thinking this." Oh, well, I'm so sorry, let's flip on Sports Center and I'll get you a beer and rub your feet. GEEEEZ. I didn't say anything at the time, but I've been thinking about it all day today and it really bugs me! Why would a guy want a girl that doesn't think for herself?!? I mean, when a guy tries to talk something out, whether it's something he heard on the news, sports, weather, whatEVER, I listen and try to offer some feedback. I also think it's an attrative quality when someone considers something after they've experienced it. It means it affected them in some way. As people, we SHOULD question things! Politics, relationships, faith, everything! Yes, even movies. The dang Black Swan is not necessarily my type of movie so it would have been nice to chat about it after, but noooooo I don't want to over-think. I guess I'm just high-maintenance.
And...for the record, this whole blog was over-thought, which is the vicious circle of irony in my life :)
*picture-- a "thoughtful" looking picture I found :)
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Running is real and relatively simple…but it ain't easy! --Mark Will-Weber
Ladies and gents, I run. That's a simple sentence that could paint a picture of me jogging around for hours, in tip-top shape, drinking only water and eating Clif Bars. The truth is, I dread running. I do it because it's healthy. It's a pain to get motivated; to get on a treadmill or even worse-- go outside and risk people driving by watching you jiggle and panting like you're running a race and the finish line is Death's Doorstep. Yes friends, I'm a faux running freak. However, the feeling you get AFTER a run can't be beat! It feels amazing! I always feel like I can solve all the little problems going on in my life, take on a new opportunity and essentially conquer the world. Can you imagine how POSITIVE everyone would be if they exercised regularly?! Those endorphins would flow and carry over into your workplace, family life, dating life/marriage-- I do believe I just solved the age-old question of how we can achieve world peace! Ta-da!
Anyway, I got up this morning for a 20 minute ab workout and I have so much energy right now, I'm not sure how to handle it. So, I'm working a little bit today and then heading on a run with my friend Katie (not to be confused with Katee, Kate, or Catherine-- whom I'll describe later). We are going to a local lake and the distance around it is just over 2 miles. We are both running a 5k in EXACTLY a month, so we have a little training to do.
Anyway, I got up this morning for a 20 minute ab workout and I have so much energy right now, I'm not sure how to handle it. So, I'm working a little bit today and then heading on a run with my friend Katie (not to be confused with Katee, Kate, or Catherine-- whom I'll describe later). We are going to a local lake and the distance around it is just over 2 miles. We are both running a 5k in EXACTLY a month, so we have a little training to do. My original plan was to run a half marathon on June 4, but shin splints throughout the whole month of April hindered my training. BOO! Oh well, keep working towards a goal, even if it has to be altered a little! Last year, I ran 4 5ks-- in the mountains! One of them was in NC, with my friends Erica and Jonathon, who are in the picture I posted today. I can totally do this!
Monday, May 2, 2011
30 x 30 -- how hard could it be?!
As part of my new year's resolution, I took a lead from my sister and made a 30 x 30 list. This is 30 things I want to accomplish before I turn thirty. It's an ambitious goal, but I'm confident it can be done. One of my goals is to journal about my life on a weekly basis. Simple enough, but as we all know, life gets in the way and it's not always fun to sit down and write out thoughts. However, I've been journaling since I could write, so I didn't think it would be THAT difficult! I made a goal to write once a week in a journal that I bought specifically for this task before I went to bed. But then... I got tired. So that flopped. I'm in my computer at least 8 hours a day, so blogging was the answer!
Let me back up... I'm in my mid twenties and single. There's a lot to dig about that status, but there is more pressure in the Midwest, which is where I'm from and have recently returned to after a year in the beautiful mountains of North Carolina and 6 years on my own.
Additionally, I think people in their 20s are still very much growing into the person they're supposed to be and I'm still a work in progress, growing in my relationships with friends, family and God. So, while this is about my 30 x 30 list, it's also about my life.
The big question on all your minds is-- what's on your 30 x 30 list?! Well, here it is:
1. Get to a healthier weight and better shape and STAY THERE!
2. Pay off car and most of school loans
3. Journal about my life every week
4. Get Baptized (CHECK! I did this on March 20, 2010)
5. Attend church regulary/grow in my relationship with God.
6. Go on a Global Village trip
7. Run a 1/2 marathon every year-- or 3 5ks.
8. Get eye surgery
9. Go to Europe with Kate (more on Kate later!)
10. Volunteer Regularly
11. Ride in a hot air balloon
12. Go on a cruise
13. Read the whole Bible (ambitious, for anyone who's tried. It's not a quick read!)
14. Take a photography course
15. Learn to make sushi
16. See the Golden Gate Bridge (or some other amazing US site)
17. Learn to change a tire & jump a car
18. Tour DC
19. Go to NYC for New Years
20. Get through 'book list' (more on that later as well!)
21. Go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
22. Skydive
23. Throw a drink in someone's face (it looks liberating! People in movies do it!)
24. Go on a float trip
25. Learn how to french braid, weaving in (I can only weave out)
26. Visit all 50 states
27. Complete family tree
28. Get Master's Degree
29. Learn how to brew my own beer
You'll notice that for now I only have 29 on my list. I need HELP with the last one! I thik I'll find that on this journey... or I hope to! I'm not too worried about it now thought because 29 things to do is a big bite to chew. So, stay tuned for the story of my journey to 30. Maybe it'll be like Eat, Pray, Love only in the Midwest and on a twentysomething's budget.
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