My life since April

Friends, I realized I haven't posted a blog since April! Wow. So much for journalling about my life everyday! In my defense, the last few months have been busy ones. Here's a litle update: 

In May, I got engaged to the man that makes me the best version of myself. He tolerates my crazy and talks me down from it. He's silly and makes me laugh harder than anyone ever has. He always strives to be a better person and he balances me completely. "I" has become "we" and it feels amazing to make plans for a future with my partner in crime. We are getting married in June of next year and I absolutely cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with this man. 

Also in May, my sister and niece visited from California! She has the luxury (mind you, I say this from a childless lady's perspective) of staying home with my niece so she can take a month "vacation" to see us! I love seeing them! My niece is the best age too... 18 months. She's learning to play and have a sense of humor. She's learning to use utensils when she eats. I don't care if you are the toughest, meanest person ever; watching a chubby kid devop motor skills while getting food all over their face and then laughing about it is absolutely hilarious.

 June was pretty busy for me as well. Of course, wedding planning really began and work was busy like always. But I got the opportunity to really learn about 1/4 of my ancestry. On my paternal grandfather's side, I am Swedish (the other 3/4 are German, Swiss and Danish). My sister lives near a very Swedish community and enrolled 2 of my nephews in Swedish school. During the school, they learn Swedish customs, words and dances. At the end of the school, they perform dances (in costume!) and sing songs in Swedish. It's right at the time of summer solstice so after dancing and singing is finished, the childen grab flowers and tie them onto the pole. Then people join in a circle and dance around the pole. Very cool and not something that you see every day. Being Swedish is sweet....ish. :)

So the rest of my summer is filling up... mostly with work, which is not fun. But really, Life is Good and happiness is everywhere. Sometimes you have to look for it.

Be Happy <3

Crossin' things off my list

I originally started this blog to complete my 30 by 30 list-- a list of things I wanted to complete by the time I'm 30. Slowly but surely, things are getting crossed off! So, for your viewing pleasure--an update!

#8- Get eye sugery- I have had glasses since the summer before second grade and they have gotten increasingly worse every year. Because of this constant prescription changing, I don't qualify for eye surgery. But, on the bright side, my prescription got better! I have to change my glasses, order new contacts and all of that is cheaper now that I have better eyes! Hooray!



Not my best work, but I thought I should prove that I could do it!



#10 Volunteer regularly- I do a decent job of this. During the school year I read with a 5th grader regularly at an elementary school. Additionally, I started coaching for a program called Girls on the Run. We work with girls in 3rd - 5th grades (I have 22!) and teach them healthy ways (running) to deal with problems rather than bottling it up or using other methods. We are confidence builders!

#25 Learn to french braid- This is kind of a silly one but I could never braid weaving IN... only weaving OUT. The braid looked like it was sitting on my head instead of weaved into my hair. So... I taught myself to do it!

#27 Complete the family tree- While a fmily tree could go on forever, I traced my ancestry back to the 1500s! Thank, ancestry.com!

Parenting advice from a non-parent.

Friends, I have a little gripe that I need to get out. Bear with me and then I'll be positive!

As a single person, I don't have children. However, bringing children to every social event seems increasingly appropriate to parents. Everywhere I go, there are children running amuck, screaming at the top of their lungs. When I say everywhere, I mean, EVERYWHERE, folks. Of course they are at the usual places like malls, parks, and movie theaters. But when people bring them to parties, the gym and to my office, it ceases to be acceptable.

For example, at my gym. There is a whole section of the gym dedicated to kids. But, on the weekends, apparently anything goes. Saturday I rolled out of bed with the ambition to have a nice long work out. I get to the gym and there are kids all over, screaming, laughing, getting in the way. A good rule of thumb: if the equipment your children are playing with weighs more than your child and could potentially harm them if it's dropped on their foot, don't bring your child.

Christmas parties are a great example of a setting that is not child-proof. Most folks get together at the holidays to catch up with old friends, etc. This also usually involves a few cocktails. Please do not assume that it's ok to bring your child to this. A good rule of thumb here is if the host doesn't have children, don't bring yours.

My office is another prime example. I work with kids at my job, but outside the office. The office is an adult place where business happens. However, parents think it's fine to let their kids race up and down the ramp screaming with exhaustion because their parents don't know that it's nap time. The rule of thumb here is, if it's not playground equipment, don't let your children crawl on it. Actually, there are 2 rules here... the second one is a personal favorite from my mother: "Kids, unless you se an adult running around screaming, don't run around screaming."



My favorite kids.



Let me just say that I have a lot of children in my life. I love kids and I hope to have a few of my own one day. I don't mean for this to come off as a blog spewing my hatred for children. My siblings have families of their own, but they all know the appropiate time and place for kids. I was raised in a 'you're seen and not heard' family and I love that. We learned appropriate manners to be able to converse with adults and then we were exiled to our rooms to read or play Barbies. Either way, we (gasp) entertained ourselves. It's a concept that kids don't know anything about now. 



 Truthfully, I blame the parents. Look around, parents-- the world is full of kid friendly things. People get confused... just because a place welcomes kids in a specific area, does not mean that it's a) free day care or b) ok for your kid to have the run of the place. Take your kids to the library for the child-friendly story hour.... not to run around and play hide and seek with their brother in the aisles. No one thinks that's cute. Take your child to the G and PG movies, not to the R rated ones... especially your baby. It will always cry and people will hate you. Many gyms have a kid's area. Pools have a kids section. Offices, bars and parties where Dora the Explorer isn't present are not ok.

   Do not loudly discipline your children in public. My mother leaned down and whispered The Fear of God into our ears, but then that was back when you wouldn't get arrested for sending your child to the car if they were misbehaving in a store, so I digress. I will say that to this day my mother has a certain tone of voice that you just don't mess with. Anyway, back to not disciplining. Pick your child up and leave the room. When you loudly discipline, you are humiliating your child unnecessarily and you make yourself look ridiculous. If you leave or do it quietly, people will respect that.

  Kids are mimickers. Generally, if you speak quietly, they will speak quietly back. arents that speak loudly or yell just don't understand why their child won't be quiet. Heeerrre's your sign.

Again, I love kids; they just don't rule my life, not yet at least. By then, I have this as my parenting advice.

Just say no!

I have, for the most part, always been a "yes" person. I say yes to friends that need favors. I say yes to helping with projects in any way I can. Most recently, I've been saying yes to co-workers that need "covering" at events, an extra hand, or want to attend their childrens' events. March has been one of the busiest months of my life because of it.

As a side note, I'd like to address the topic of childless people. We have freedom. We don't have to ruxh off to sprts events or dance recitals or to nurse a sick kid. It's SUPPOSED to be a luxury o not have children. I have noticed that people that have kids take advantage of those that don't in the workplace. Parents cut out early to pick up their kids from school or come in late because their kid spilld Cheerios all over the place. While I'm sympathetic AND I strongly believe that family is #1, don't take advantage of us. It's not fair.

*deep breath* okay, back to my new (or should I say 'no' me)

First, I am way behind on working on things at home. We have a massive garage sale coming up and things need to be done for that. I have several stacks of paper on my desk at home that need to be filed. Laundry piles are in my bedroom and bathroom because I have no time to clean my clothes. Weekends are filled with trying to catch up on sleep and cleaning.

I don't go out. Even if I did, most of the people I socialize with are at work. When a rare chance to relax pops up, my mind won't turn off. I keep thinking of the endless list of things to do and keep adding to it. I don't even see my boyfriend very often anymore! I feel so disoriented in my own life!

So, NO MORE! I have to start saying no. NO, I can't help you with this last minute project you didn't have the sense to prepare for. NO, I can't cover for you because you have the sniffles. NO, I'm not dealing with something for you because you're sick of doing it yourself. Be an adult and just do it. Stop relying on me!

First World Problems

I recently learned of a phrase that people say when you complain about things that are really not problems..."That's a first world problem." You see, there are problems that people in the what's refered to as the 'Third World' experience such as not having food or shelter. Essentially that first level on Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs.

There is actually a whole website dedicated to First World Problems. http://first-world-problems.com/. It allows people to write in their ridiculous problems. Some examples of these are, "I have caviar in my braces" or "My back hurts from carrying around my $2000 laptop."

These are meant to be funny and for us to get a laugh at our own privileges, but when you really think about it, it's very sad that we think these are real-life problems. Our perspective is so skewed because we live in a society where we can go anywhere any get not only what we need but what we want. That, for most of us, a click of a button on one of our computers (the average American home has 3 computers) will get us any information we need. We have to have the latest styles, cars fresh off the line or see the big movie the night it comes out in theaters.

I am a constant example of this. I work at a non-profit. The computers that are provided to us are old... my former computer here was 15 years old which is ancient in computer years. It barely worked; made loud noises as it was operating, would shut me out of systems for no reason and sometimes just shut off for no reason. On top of that, the screen was so tiny, I had to lean way in to see small print. It got the point where I didn't have the tools to complete my job successfully. I can say all of thie now with far less frustration than before because I'v since gotten a new computer. But the fact is, I HAVE a computer. I HAVE a job. I HAVE my own desk and I get along with my co-workers. The problem with my computer, although negatively affecting my work, was not a real problem. It was just a kink I needed to work out.

I will refrain from making more comparisons to our lifestlyes and people with actual problems because that could go on forever. I invite you to take a step back next time the heat doesn't warm up your car fast enough, you misplaced your favorite fluffy pillow or Google isn't working on your iPhone. If you ake the time to gain a little perspective, you might just find a simple solution for the kink. <3

Re-evaluating my idea of a good time

As I said in my last post, I'm reading "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. I'm currently reading chapter 5, "May- Be Serious About Play." She focuses the month of May on leisure, or more specifically, find more fun, take time to be silly, go off the path, and start a collection. In the chapter, she asks herself what she finds to be fun. It sounds really simple.... you think we'd know what we find to be fun. One of Rubin's "Secrets to Adulthood" is 'what's fun for other people may not be fun to you-- and vice versa.'

This chapter really hit me-- of course! There are so many things that people find fun that I really don't. In a former life, I went out a lot. Girls' nights out, dressing up, etc. Many of the girls I went out with are now married, have babies and well, they're settled. It's not a priority for them. However, I'm not married nor do I have any babies, so should I still want to go bar hopping with the remaining single girls? That doesn't appeal to me whatsoever.

I think so many people do what the crowd does. People say parties are fun, so they go to parties. They say running is fun, so they kill themselves on the treadmill.  Parties CAN be fun, but they tend to be more work than they are worth. As I've said before, the end result of running is a rush, so I guess that's fun, but the act of running kinda sucks. So the real question is, what do I find to be fun? Here are a few things... I may add more to it when I figure out what I really find fun.

Truth be told, I'm a homebody. I like staying in more than I like to go out. I find staying in and watching a movie or playing games much more fun than getting all dolled up just to go to some trendy bar and wait in lines behind some bachelorette party or 21st birthday party of screeching girls or getting stared at by some creepy guy hipster, that thinks he's God's gift to the ladies. Puke. If I go out, I like to go with a couple of friends, to someplace that we can talk. 

I like to drink wine and interesting beers. I go to the store and go to the mix and match 6 pack area and get 6 bottles of beer I've never heard of. I don't like cheap crappy beer. Yes, once upon a time, I could drink it like water, but those days are long gone. If I'm going to drink, I'm going to do it well on beverages I can savor.

I love to read. Whether it's something factual that I can learn something new or a fiction novel that I can completely lose myself in for an hour at a time, I adore it. Reading can do so many things for a person's imagination not to mention their vocabulary. Reading is just calming for the spirit.

I'd love to hear what you guys find to be fun! Comment!!!!

Happiness!

This winter has been exceptionally awesome. Not only in my personal life, but the weather has been mild, if not warm! We have even enjoyed a few 60 degree days along the way as well. But then, winter came. We all new it was going to happen! Even though there's really not that much snow, it's super windy and that's what makes it too cold. Less than 2 months to spring! Anyway, here's what's happening in my world:

Awesome Read: I'm reading a great book- It's called The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It's about this woman who is happy in her life, but she thinks that she could be happier. So, she devises a plan that for one year, she will do little things in her life to make it just that much more happier. It's motivational and a great, easy read. However, before you start thinking that it's all sunshine and rainbows, I'm mostly impressed with this book because she talks about things in her plan that didn't work so well or that she didn't like. It's more real and attainable that way, I think. Great read-- do it!

Awesome Family: My sister came to visit! My younger sister is married and has a baby that's just over a year old. Her family moved to California last year and I miss them like crazy! Anyway they are here to visit for 10 days and life is just better when they are around. My niece is just over 1 now and she is toddling around doing silly things and babbling away. I'm not quite ready for one of my own yet, but nieces and nephews make life so happy!

Awesome Traveling: My boyfriend is fantastic and knows how much I miss my mountains! So, we are travelling over Memorial Day to see his brother in Atlanta and then a few of my mountain buddies!!! I can't tell you how excited I am!!!! It's going to be a fun fun fun trip.

Awesome Job: Like anyone, I have gripes about my job. I have days when staying in bed just seems cozier and pajamas and slippers fit better than dress slacks and ballet flats or heels. One of the main reasons I hated coming to work was because my computer was a piece of crap. It would just shut down, or freeze or kick me out of whatever program I was working in. After numerous visits with the computer people and several emails to the person in charge of this begging to get me a new computer, I finally got one! Hooray!!! So, I deep cleaned my desk and now, I have renewed energy. We also have a new CEO and she has brought in a new energy... a very positive one to our office and in the month that she's been here, the culture of the office has changed! People seem happier and more excited about what we do. Woo!

Focus on the happy, friends!