Honesty with a serious face. -_-

Hey you guys, Happy Monday! This weekend has been a rough one for me, for a few reasons.

1. My spare room is a source of stress and contention. It's currently our "catch-all" room. It's got the makings of a wonderful bedroom, but it's also got two bicycles in it. The end goal is that it be a mult-purpose room for us... guest bedroom, office, study, storage, and craft room. I can TOTALLY make this happen-- I just need like, a whole day (or two) to get things organized in there. I have a plan that I plan to execute by the end of this week...get ready for a rockin' spare room, friends.

2. This is how I've felt all weekend:

Not even kidding y'all, my goal is to be as comfortable as possible when I'm at home. This means: No bra and my husband's sweat pants and old shirts. It's how I roll.

 

This weekend, I just realized how sick of looking at myself I actually am. I take a long time to get ready to go anywhere because I feel like it takes me a long time to look presentable and mostly, to find clothes that fit me.... it's difficult because for the past year, I've teetered back and forth between the same 10 pounds. I'm on the higher end of that again and it's not ideal. I'm just sort of over being chubby, friends.

When I pictured my life as a married woman, I pictured farmer's market dates and bicycle rides (so many of you liked this picture, I'll repost it just for you). I pictured being healthy and active and cute. Instead, my husband is active and works out and I err on the side of lazy.

BUT NO MORE! I have a goal... 10 pounds before Christmas. That is totally doable and I'm determined. I woke up this morning and ran for 20 minutes. It was only 20 minutes, but I'm not a runner. I don't agree with running, but running agrees with me... my skin looks better, it injects a ton of energy in me for the day.. it's just good. Plus, I don't want to squander the few weeks of great weather we have in Iowa. Seriously, it ain't much and I will do nothing but complain about snow when it happens, so I may as well embrace this nice weather.

The thing is, I'm lazy. I'm working on the routine motivation to reach a good place but I do love my couch, sweatpants and food. I realize just saying that how pathetic that sounds, but I can't help it. I love all the laziness, but I aspire to be active. I'm working on it. It's a daily, sometimes hourly, struggle and that's ok. Getting to a good place isn't going to happen in a week because getting to where I am now took years.

It's August and I'm giving myself 4 months to make some headway. Cheers to the second part of 2013!

The madness of life

A lot has been going on since I last posted a blog entry. These events have made me re-evaluate my plans.

Two weekends ago was my high school reunion -- 10 years (kind of gives away the "twentysomething" illusion if you can do that math, right?) I planned the entire thing... it was just a bar night Friday night and then a family picnic on Saturday. Nothing fancy, but it does include getting some logistics and 200+ people together.

The day of the reunion, I felt that anxiety that most people do before seeing people that haven't seen you in a decade. I wanted to impress, of course, and I wanted people this I looked GOOD. So I went on a hunt for a new dress. I found the dress at Kohl's in the junior section. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I went home and spent the afternoon getting ready for the night. Yes, it was a bit of overkill, but I didn't want to feel rushed.


A pic I sent my sister to make sure I looked OK.

I get to the reunion and people slowly trickle in. It was so much fun to see all these people! A guy that I was always friendly with (we always had to sit next to each other since our last names were close in the alphabet) came up to me and started in on the typical "what have you been up to?" questions. Then, he innocently dropped the ball.

"I see you have a little baby bump! When are you due?"

My heart dropped but I played it off as best I could. Shortly after I excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried a little bit. You guys, it was horrible. After all the progress I have made, it's not good enough. People still think I look pregnant. It's discouraging and not at all good for my self-esteem.

After some pity-party crying to my husband and some self-reflection, I realized I can work harder and be better. There's no excuse for not being healthy. For the unhealthy lifestyle most Americans have access to (fast food on every corner, reasons to sit on the couch, etc) there are just as many resources for one that wants to be healthy. You just have to look for them.

The following week, I made a pretty big commitment to be healthier. I have realized I need help with motivation and accountability. My sister has been talking to me for a few months about becoming a Beachbody Coach. Of course, I was skeptical because I noramlly hate when people hit me up for their "small businesses"...I find it to be intrusive most of the time. BUT- this isn't a good... it's a service that promotes being healthy for SO many reasons. If you've got any questions about shakeology or and of the Beachbody workout systems, PLEASE let me know! We can grow in our healthiness together.

Then this Monday, I woke up at 6am and Randy and I went on a run/walk. It wasn't super sweaty, but I'd say we went about 2 miles. Next time I run/walk, I'll do more running than walking. This morning I woke up early and stretched for 40 minutes. It was well needed and everyone should do it all the time. Stretching is amazing. I'm getting back in to an active lifestyle and I love it.

Now, the other part of being healthy is eating. That's a daily battle, you guys, DAILY. Because, I love food and eating. My first step towards a better goal is MORE WATER... I had 6 bottles at work yesterday and I only drink water at home. It helps keep me full.

I would also like to promote a website I found called SuperCook. You guys, I am forever missing just one or two ingredients from a recipe so I have to run to the store to get it and it's more money spent, etc. On this website, you can select items that you already have in your kitchen and it finds recipes for you! We have this basil and parmesan stuffed lemon chicken last night... carb free and mostly sodium free! Randy raved about it all night, which really is such a compliment. (It's the little things, I guess!) Try the website... it's SUCH a time saver!