Parenting advice from a non-parent.

Friends, I have a little gripe that I need to get out. Bear with me and then I'll be positive!

As a single person, I don't have children. However, bringing children to every social event seems increasingly appropriate to parents. Everywhere I go, there are children running amuck, screaming at the top of their lungs. When I say everywhere, I mean, EVERYWHERE, folks. Of course they are at the usual places like malls, parks, and movie theaters. But when people bring them to parties, the gym and to my office, it ceases to be acceptable.

For example, at my gym. There is a whole section of the gym dedicated to kids. But, on the weekends, apparently anything goes. Saturday I rolled out of bed with the ambition to have a nice long work out. I get to the gym and there are kids all over, screaming, laughing, getting in the way. A good rule of thumb: if the equipment your children are playing with weighs more than your child and could potentially harm them if it's dropped on their foot, don't bring your child.

Christmas parties are a great example of a setting that is not child-proof. Most folks get together at the holidays to catch up with old friends, etc. This also usually involves a few cocktails. Please do not assume that it's ok to bring your child to this. A good rule of thumb here is if the host doesn't have children, don't bring yours.

My office is another prime example. I work with kids at my job, but outside the office. The office is an adult place where business happens. However, parents think it's fine to let their kids race up and down the ramp screaming with exhaustion because their parents don't know that it's nap time. The rule of thumb here is, if it's not playground equipment, don't let your children crawl on it. Actually, there are 2 rules here... the second one is a personal favorite from my mother: "Kids, unless you se an adult running around screaming, don't run around screaming."



My favorite kids.



Let me just say that I have a lot of children in my life. I love kids and I hope to have a few of my own one day. I don't mean for this to come off as a blog spewing my hatred for children. My siblings have families of their own, but they all know the appropiate time and place for kids. I was raised in a 'you're seen and not heard' family and I love that. We learned appropriate manners to be able to converse with adults and then we were exiled to our rooms to read or play Barbies. Either way, we (gasp) entertained ourselves. It's a concept that kids don't know anything about now. 



 Truthfully, I blame the parents. Look around, parents-- the world is full of kid friendly things. People get confused... just because a place welcomes kids in a specific area, does not mean that it's a) free day care or b) ok for your kid to have the run of the place. Take your kids to the library for the child-friendly story hour.... not to run around and play hide and seek with their brother in the aisles. No one thinks that's cute. Take your child to the G and PG movies, not to the R rated ones... especially your baby. It will always cry and people will hate you. Many gyms have a kid's area. Pools have a kids section. Offices, bars and parties where Dora the Explorer isn't present are not ok.

   Do not loudly discipline your children in public. My mother leaned down and whispered The Fear of God into our ears, but then that was back when you wouldn't get arrested for sending your child to the car if they were misbehaving in a store, so I digress. I will say that to this day my mother has a certain tone of voice that you just don't mess with. Anyway, back to not disciplining. Pick your child up and leave the room. When you loudly discipline, you are humiliating your child unnecessarily and you make yourself look ridiculous. If you leave or do it quietly, people will respect that.

  Kids are mimickers. Generally, if you speak quietly, they will speak quietly back. arents that speak loudly or yell just don't understand why their child won't be quiet. Heeerrre's your sign.

Again, I love kids; they just don't rule my life, not yet at least. By then, I have this as my parenting advice.