Breakin' up is hard to do

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the idea of friendship and what that means. To some, a friend is a shoulder to cry on. To others, it's a movie buddy. It's a confidant for secrets. It's a drinking buddy. For me, it's all of those things and a lot more. It's someone you keep in touch with even when you aren't together all the time. It's someone you let vent to you just because she's mad. You share in her joy when great things happen and you share her sadness or anger when bad things come along. You go through life together. I have been been blessed to have some good friends in my life; some that I thought would be around for years to come. But those relationships have dwindled some and we don't share a lot in common any more. No matter how many attempts to just 'hang out' are made, they make no effort in return. So, we just aren't close. It's a sad friend break-up. I hate to see it.

Women's Health Magazine writes, "The unique and emotional bond between women is about more than connecting with other women. These relationships can also have an impact on women's health." It's important for women to keep up their relationships with their female friends because it keeps them in touch with their emotions, reduces stress levels and reminds us of who we were before Tom, Dick or Harry came into the picture. They are important. I've been realizing lately that a lot of friends that I thought were close aren't so much. It's not the "hey we never talk but we'll always just pick up where we left off" kind of friendships I'm talking about. It's the 'we were friends in high school and we fell like we need to put on airs to keep up that image." To these friends, I wish you all the very best and I'll be here for you no matter what. Unfortunately, we just don't have anything in common anymore.



Jess and me



On the flip side, I do have a few close "sisters." The "hey we rarely talk but we'll always just pick up where we left off" friends. These are the great kind. One such friend is my friend Jess. I was in her wedding in September and we've been friend since college. I get to hang out with her this weekend when we return to our college town for Homecoming. Even though she's married, owns a home, and works a lot, we still catch up and exchange some emails weekly.

Me on the Right, Erica front 'n' center in Mexico!

Another such friend is my dear friend Erica. We met in Mexico, of all places. She was going to school in South Carolina and in a week's time, I had planted the idea of her transferring to my school. That fall she came for a visit and my the following spring, she had moved north! Fast forward a few years and one phone call from her convinced me to move to North Carolina to join the AmeriCorps. I changed her life in college, she changed my life after college, but I have a feeling we'll be doing that to each other for years to come. She's an amazing person. She's not able to come to Homecoming this weekend, and when I talked to her yesterday, she relayed to me exactly what I was thinking. "I have my girl friends here but they aren't you guys, ya know?" Every girl should have that group of 'you guys.' I may not have as many close friends as I thought, but I do have a few and I am a very lucky girl.